On my way back...
Ok, So I am on my way home from the most exciting weekend. First things first...I didn't win... In fact I didn't place..in any of my dance's...but listen to my story...it beats winning any day!
So, after finally getting to Vienna I met up with Olive at the hall for one final big practice.
It was all going well and Olive said she could tell I have been working hard...which I have...I think I have sweated gallons in the last few weeks alone from all the run through's I have been doing.
So anyway, practice lasted a few hours and all was good. Olive and I grabbed some food and then I headed off to bed for an early night...big day tomorrow! Amazingly everyone's kind words of advice on here and Olive's faith in me seemed to help me get to sleep and before I knew it was 8am and time to get up.
So...with my hiar I decided to go for wavy AND curly... as you all had such good advice... will post a picture when i get back to UK tomorrow.
Olive got delayed meeting me so i went to the practice room myself...It was all going well..then i saw another girl doing MY steps and I knew she looked about my age....and so was going to be up against me...AND SHE WAS REALLY good! So i took a deep breath and went off to look for Olive.
For any of you who don't know what Olive is like... she is the kindest, most lovely person you could ever hope to meet... so I was glad when she arrived and I told her about how good the other girl was.. .she just looked at me and said... well not as good as you... and not as pretty either... It was just what i needed to hear...shallow yes, but sometimes we need a bit of a confidence boost!
So Olive and I ran through my steps and after waiting for what seemed like days... months...years... It was time! Now I had heard there were going to be 14 dancers in my age group, so when I got to the side of the stage i was shocked to see well over 30 girls and boys waiting to go. My palms began to sweat and I was SO nervous.
It suddenly dawned on me what i was doing. For the first time in the last four months since I started on this journey learning to dance with Olive It dawned on me that I was in Vienna, standing at the side of a huge stage, about to go and dance four dances that until a few weeks ago I didn't know at all.
SO, I tried hard not to think about this. I thought of all of you lot and how supportive ou have all been of me. I saw olive sitting in thr front row and she smiled and gave ame a double thumbs up! So here I was...no turning back...although I did spot an exit onto the streeet back stage and seriously considered....no of course I didn't. This was my time...and the music started.
I was number 208 and was in the third lot of dancers of 10 to go on stage. I found out later there were 32 in the comp. As the others were dancing on stage I went through my reel in my head and then it was finally my turn.
I walked onto the stage, under the hot, hot lights, with my head held high, shoulders back, chin up knowing I was going to dance my very best.
The reel went well, not THE Best I have ever done it, but OK. When I left the stage I ran to find olive who gave me a big hug..." I went a bit wrong" I said. " No says olive. Well done. One down three to go." In my heart I knew that it wasn't the best Reel up there...but I was proud of myself and knew that from hear on in things could only get easier.
Out in the corridor Olive ran me through my Light jig and then I hurried off to side stage... Up on the stage again and this time I felt a lot lighter, alot less scared. I danced the BEST light jig I have ever done! I know that and Olive said it too! I was so SO so pleased. But you never can tell...we would just have to wait until the results.
A bit of time for a drink of water as next was the single jig and I wasn't doing that dance. So we ran through my Slip jig. I reapplied my makeup...all my foundation was sliding off my face with all the sweat dripping from me...such an attractive look. Then off I went again up onto the stage to do my Slip jig. I had always felt confident about this one and it went well too... I felt really happy.
Now there was just the dreaded Treble Reel to do....So out I went for a quick practice. Now take note my fellow dancers....never dance on a tiled floor... I did and on my very first treble, and treble back slipped up and landed really hard on my bum and wrist. It REALLY hurt...but Olive...bless her felt it was vitally important to take a picture of me sitting on the floor skirt over my bum... all in the name of reporting it back to you of course...nothing to do with the fact she thought it was hilarious! Anyway.... swelling wrist i got back to side stage and danced my treble. now the music to this seemed SOOOOO fast ..even though it was the speed I had practiced at...I fluffed the first bar but picked it up from there and felt ok...nothing great but OK..AND I HAD NOW DONE MY FIRST EVER FEIS.
Just time to wait for the results...
Now as I waited my tummy started turning. I wasn't expecting anything at all...but thought I had danced really well in my light and slip jig so was secretly crossing my fingers....and when i looked at Olive so was she....
But it wasn't meant to be... I now understand how frustrated you all get when you can't get any feedback on how you did from the judges...I watched as the same dancers went up on stage over and over collecting their awards... I was so upset...there is no denying it! But that is life... as a dancer you work your butt off... only to feel you have let yourself down. Even though this is RUBBISH and you know it you can't help but be upset!
BUT! After all the results were over I was talking to a dance teacher at the Feis who knew a lot about dancing in Europe. When he told me that as many countries in Europe don't run Feisanna some of the dances in my comp had been dancing for five or more years but were still in beginner as they didn't attend Feisanna. I was shocked. Having watched the other girls and boys dance, I had thought...as I had earlier in the day when watching the girl in the practice room...golly they are REALLY good...and now I know why.
Credit to them... it must suck to have to wait five years to go to a Feis and they all looked amazing so well done to them all! They certainly deserved the wins! But I won too! I really did! And this is how you have to look at it.
Just because you lose doesn't make you a loser. I had The best time and am SO proud of myself. I have made a WONDERFUL friend in Olive and have just spent the weekend doing something I have never dreamed of. I just Irish danced infront of hundreds of people...and have a lovely dress and thought I did myself and all of you lot proud...so when you look at it like that... bring on the next Feis!
I will write more tomorrow as my money is running out here but thanks everyone for all your support! I had a GREAT time and am SO happy I did this!